He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
