So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
another moral hangover. fuck.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
