somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My life is pants optional.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
