I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
