Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
