so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
