im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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