This show inspires me to have sex in space
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
