Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
