I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
