Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
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in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
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I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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