We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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