the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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