He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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