Don't you send me to vm
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
