she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
