Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You ruined the universe
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize