Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I party with great urgency now.
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