it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
