Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
