I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize