would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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