I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
