It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
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I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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