I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize