The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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