she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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