my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
