my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
There's even glitter on my cock...
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