their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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