Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
