we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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