I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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