Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
