I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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