So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
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The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
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While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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