The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
