I got chris browned last night
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
