I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
