Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
is it fun? or sober?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
