If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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