i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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