he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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