Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You're so nebulous sometimes
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
