just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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