How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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