i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
