4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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