Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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