i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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