the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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