I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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