margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
