I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
