Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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