i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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