He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
