Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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