jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize