so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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