You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
