The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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