just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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