The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
4 words: hood of his car
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
