You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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