do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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